Angie, the other Wonder Woman

Ah Angelina Jolie. Okay, I get it, she’s brave, she’s beautiful, she’s only 12% body fat. And she just got a mastectomy. For those of us who haven’t been through medical school or read any recent popular culture magazines, a mastectomy is when they get all up in there and remove part of or all of the breast tissue to prevent cancer. Angie (may I call you Angie?) just made the decision to have a double mastectomy earlier this year and, as anybody who’s anybody or knows an anybody knows, it has been the rave of the tabloids, magazines, Twitter, grapevine, and plastic cup phones everywhere. First, I’d like to say kudos to Angie for making the decision—I know if someone was like “Hey can we just cut off your boobs?” I’d probs be a little hesitant considering they’re like 59% of my personality. Secondly, WHO CARES? Why should Angelina’s boob removal be front page news when literally thousands of women at risk of or with breast cancer have gotten the same procedure? Anyone?

My aunt just got a hysterectomy (uterus = gone—prevents ovarian cancer, very good) a few years ago and I didn’t witness her getting an award or plaque or any other commemorative item. I know she gets to keep her boobs and everything but she didn’t have much to work with in the first place—unfortunately I didn’t acquire this trait. But AJ has been gracing magazine covers left and right (three so far that I’ve counted), including TIME Magazine, THE most legit publication this side of the Bible and Uncle Henry’s Buy, Sell, or Swap Guide. Maybe if she was the first or the second woman ever to get the procedure—like when it was in its infancy—I would be completely supportive of this media storm, but at this point she’s like the twelve-thousandth woman to have this done. And the only reason why the media gives a flying squirrel about mastectomies now is because Tomb Raider got one.

In case this was overlooked in any way, I do not want to downplay Angie’s decision and the difficult time she has just gone through, but Jesus there are thousands of brave women dealing with this daily that the media could easily interview. And they probably wouldn’t have to pay $1,000 to hear their stories. I’m just saying.