"'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62.
And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64.
However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees
before top-dead-center."
-Miss Mona Lisa Vito
Monday, July 22, 2013
Saturday, July 20, 2013
My unfortunate financial status
At this point I'm so poor that I literally stole quarters off the floor of a party I was at last night. Then I spent $70 this morning on clothes, so I think we may have discovered the root of the problem. But a girl's got to shop and a girl's got to pay for parking. No shame.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Yeah, you like it
We should all just admit that we totally all got hot and bothered while watching the gay hookup on Teen Wolf last week.
Here's why:
They're guys.
They're hot.
One of them is a twin.
They're ripped.
They're hot.
They're on a bed, making out.
I'm not even into that guy on guy action, I just like to pretend I'm one of them, being loved on by the other one. It changes depending on what I'm feeling.
Here's why:
They're guys.
They're hot.
One of them is a twin.
They're ripped.
They're hot.
They're on a bed, making out.
I'm not even into that guy on guy action, I just like to pretend I'm one of them, being loved on by the other one. It changes depending on what I'm feeling.
Why aren't you watching this?
OKAY. Let's get right to the point: you aren't watching Naked and Afraid and you should be.
Maybe you haven't heard of it, maybe you've seen the commercials and don't think it's exciting. Well you're stupid and you're wrong. Why? BECAUSE IT"S THE BESTEST, WEIRDEST, FUNNIEST SHOW EVER. Even the name is enticing--it alludes to our favorite things: sex and danger (thankfully it's safely on a screen and you're nice and warm on your sofa).
To sum up this show: they drop a man and a woman off NAKED in a jungle/forest/desert somewhere and the two of them have to last 21 days (AKA three weeks for those of us mathematically challenged). They don't even get water (however they can both bring one item) and HELLO they don't even have undies. Not even a thong or something. And let me tell you, watching survivalists sliding down muddy jungle dunes and getting splinters with it all hanging out is good TV.
Now, on to something you probably are watching: Girl Code.
Yeah, we all know already that it is the best show on television because these totally bitchy, hilarious, fabulous girls make you feel so much better about yourself and the fact that you're sitting on your butt for seven hours because it's totally normal. Since I doubt I even need to continue explaining why it's so awesome, here's some mental snacks for you:
 |
| http://www.hitfix.com/starr-raving/discovery-reveals-even-more-with-bare-pairs-on-naked-afraid |
Maybe you haven't heard of it, maybe you've seen the commercials and don't think it's exciting. Well you're stupid and you're wrong. Why? BECAUSE IT"S THE BESTEST, WEIRDEST, FUNNIEST SHOW EVER. Even the name is enticing--it alludes to our favorite things: sex and danger (thankfully it's safely on a screen and you're nice and warm on your sofa).
To sum up this show: they drop a man and a woman off NAKED in a jungle/forest/desert somewhere and the two of them have to last 21 days (AKA three weeks for those of us mathematically challenged). They don't even get water (however they can both bring one item) and HELLO they don't even have undies. Not even a thong or something. And let me tell you, watching survivalists sliding down muddy jungle dunes and getting splinters with it all hanging out is good TV.
Now, on to something you probably are watching: Girl Code.
| http://www.bubblews.com/news/620707-girl-code-vs-guy-code |
Yeah, we all know already that it is the best show on television because these totally bitchy, hilarious, fabulous girls make you feel so much better about yourself and the fact that you're sitting on your butt for seven hours because it's totally normal. Since I doubt I even need to continue explaining why it's so awesome, here's some mental snacks for you:
 | |||||||||
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/carly%20aquilino |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/pissed |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/alice%20wetterlund |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/mtv%20girl%20code |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/girl%20code%20gif |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/girl%20code?language=fr_FR |
Realizations of a twenty-something
Alright, so you're in your twenties. This means: you're young, you're hot, you're broke, you're just entering the workforce, you're terrified and you're life is basically a crap shoot of trying to keep it together.
Here's some things you're beginning to realize:
You can totally hand wash your silk shirt in your Tupperware.
You hate everyone who has their shit together, especially if they're younger than you.
Every load of laundry, no matter how long it's been since your last wash, can fit into one load (when you visit home you're parents are like, "Steph, I know it says 'Large' on the settings but that was way more than large." And you're all like, whatevs you guys aren't used to having to fork over $5 every wash and dry).
Netflix is the best invention. Ever. You've also gotten really good at finding current shows online--in fact you've got the daily schedules down to a science.
Reading the magazine covers while in the line at Stop n' Shop is totally the same thing as buying them.
Coffee is the most critical resource in your arsenal.
You're college clothes are way too slutty for your new job/internship (a fantastic excuse to go shopping).
Makeup out of the 98 cent bin is just as good as the 23 dollar stuff from Sephora--like seriously have you seen the prices in there?
Your roommates don't care that you're home and can hear their sex noises through the 3 mm thick wall.
You only need $60 a week for groceries, but at least $75 a week for clothes and cafe bagels and your favorite iced vanilla latte.
Here's some things you're beginning to realize:
You can totally hand wash your silk shirt in your Tupperware.
You hate everyone who has their shit together, especially if they're younger than you.
Every load of laundry, no matter how long it's been since your last wash, can fit into one load (when you visit home you're parents are like, "Steph, I know it says 'Large' on the settings but that was way more than large." And you're all like, whatevs you guys aren't used to having to fork over $5 every wash and dry).
Netflix is the best invention. Ever. You've also gotten really good at finding current shows online--in fact you've got the daily schedules down to a science.
Reading the magazine covers while in the line at Stop n' Shop is totally the same thing as buying them.
Coffee is the most critical resource in your arsenal.
You're college clothes are way too slutty for your new job/internship (a fantastic excuse to go shopping).
Makeup out of the 98 cent bin is just as good as the 23 dollar stuff from Sephora--like seriously have you seen the prices in there?
Your roommates don't care that you're home and can hear their sex noises through the 3 mm thick wall.
You only need $60 a week for groceries, but at least $75 a week for clothes and cafe bagels and your favorite iced vanilla latte.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Shit my dad says
Though my father is quite fabulously comedic, he does also have his moments. He's also been recycling the same jokes over the past 30 years along with his shirts.
Here's just a glimpse into my daily dealings:
Christina: "Dad I got money!"
Dad: "How?"
Me: "She was working the corner all night."
Dad: "I don't care, as long as she's making money!"
When my sister or I left the house in high school (actually he still says it to both of us): "Have fun, be safe."(true life, that one's important and one of the reasons he's the bestest padre in ze world)
Me: "Sorry dad but women can't be in the kitchen AND in the laundry room at the same time."
Dad: "Steph, there's plenty to do between loads."
In Spain when trying to ask for the check: "La questa por favor." (KennyP thought Catalan meant he could just try to speak french to them and get by)
Upon cruising through the Scottish countryside via train: "Scotland, where the men are men and the women are sheep."
Upon leaving anywhere: "And we're off like a bride's nighty!"
Me about something frustrating/stupid/ridiculous: "Jesus Christ."
Dad: "Ken is fine."
Here's just a glimpse into my daily dealings:
Christina: "Dad I got money!"
Dad: "How?"
Me: "She was working the corner all night."
Dad: "I don't care, as long as she's making money!"
When my sister or I left the house in high school (actually he still says it to both of us): "Have fun, be safe."(true life, that one's important and one of the reasons he's the bestest padre in ze world)
Me: "Sorry dad but women can't be in the kitchen AND in the laundry room at the same time."
Dad: "Steph, there's plenty to do between loads."
In Spain when trying to ask for the check: "La questa por favor." (KennyP thought Catalan meant he could just try to speak french to them and get by)
Upon cruising through the Scottish countryside via train: "Scotland, where the men are men and the women are sheep."
Upon leaving anywhere: "And we're off like a bride's nighty!"
Me about something frustrating/stupid/ridiculous: "Jesus Christ."
Dad: "Ken is fine."
Quote of the day
Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem
Lying to herself cause her liquor's top shelf.
-Lana Del Rey
-Lana Del Rey
Thursday, July 11, 2013
BuzzFeed posts all 20-somethings should read
So not only is BuzzFeed the only form of news that I pay attention to, it also happens to be one of my few connections to the outside world.
Currently I am sitting in the BWorks bagel cafe with it up in 4 tabs on my browser, so that should tell you something.
So to save you the hassle of scouring through the 46 thousand posts, here are three that are relevant and comedic to all us twenty-somethings who have nothing better to do with out time because we are at dead end jobs and our lives are going nowhere:
18 Things That Millennials Are Made Fun Of That Were Like Totally True For Generation X
Stuff You Hoped You'd Have In Your Twenties vs. What You Actually Have
21 Classic Quotes Reimagined for the Millennial Generation
10 People Who Aren't Afraid To Be Who They Are
10 Lessons From The Premier Of "Girls"
18 Things We Learned From Season 2 Of "Girls"
The last two are on there because as twenty-something girls we know that this show portrays our lives down to the most miniscule detail--except that Hannah still has more sex than us and their apartments are still way nicer than ours. Lucky bitches.
Currently I am sitting in the BWorks bagel cafe with it up in 4 tabs on my browser, so that should tell you something.
So to save you the hassle of scouring through the 46 thousand posts, here are three that are relevant and comedic to all us twenty-somethings who have nothing better to do with out time because we are at dead end jobs and our lives are going nowhere:
18 Things That Millennials Are Made Fun Of That Were Like Totally True For Generation X
Stuff You Hoped You'd Have In Your Twenties vs. What You Actually Have
21 Classic Quotes Reimagined for the Millennial Generation
10 People Who Aren't Afraid To Be Who They Are
10 Lessons From The Premier Of "Girls"
18 Things We Learned From Season 2 Of "Girls"
The last two are on there because as twenty-something girls we know that this show portrays our lives down to the most miniscule detail--except that Hannah still has more sex than us and their apartments are still way nicer than ours. Lucky bitches.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Show me the good stuff
There is no better feeling than when you are watching a show and a character is wearing something you own. And even though it's 12:50 am and you're the only one in your bed you still let out a screech and a "AHH that's my shirt!" Then you find a reason the next day when you're out with one of your friends to bring it up and even though you're expecting them to be like, "Sweet Lord Jesus that is the coolest thing ever, you are so awesome and stylish and perfect," instead they are always like, "Um, okay?"
Disappointing.
But you tell yourself to ignore them and continue thinking that you're at least a whole level above the population style-wise. Like come on, these are professionals picking out their outfits--you just stumbled upon your look because you have excellent taste. I prefer to think of it as a validation that you did something right in your life, like, "Look! I'm fabulous! I'm a stylist! I think I wore it a little better but maybe that's just me..."
Want some examples? Of course you do.
Now, I also work in retail at the infamous Lucky Brand Jeans and as soon as I saw these pants in the Spring collection I knew I was going to rock them to their full extent. Here's a fatefully unattractive picture of me in them at work next to this little girl that will someday be famous--she sang in the store for us and the customers, and I got her on video:
And here's what they look like on the Lucky site:
Then the most exciting thing happened when I was on Spring Break this year--I saw them in (I believe) the April issue of Cosmo, as a recommendation of how to wear patterned pants.
Needless to say I'm borderline a fashion icon.
Now, there are a few other items that I have acquired that blur the line a little bit as to who had it first. I recently purchased this Free Peeps slip:
I have yet to wear it because a) it's see through so I'm trying to figure out the proper under-dressings before I slut it up and b) I want to wear it with a long, oversize sweater which I am currently unable to do since it's a constant 82 degrees every day right now. Before I bought it, but while I was looking at it (I would definitely say we were in the heavy flirtation stage of our relationship) I realized that Alison Argent on Teen Wolf wore the same one a few weeks prior (BTDubs I got it on Ebay for a legitimate steal so you should probably hop on that):
I wouldn't have worn it with such a tight shirt, but
maybe that's me. She still rocks it and we still love her--except her
new haircut, we all hate that. Side note: is anyone else confused as to
why grandpa Argent has like a Scottish accent when their family is
French?
On the other hand, I have done a bit of style stealing from this show. Like this outfit:
Did I completely hunt down this outfit then buy a burgundy leather skirt and blue button down so I could be as cool and stylish as Lydia?
Um, yeah I did.
Sad?
Yes.
Totally worth it?
Obviously, have you seen this girl? She is literally everything I want to be and if I can creepily model myself after her like a future mentally unbalanced stalker, I'm going to. No need to hate because you didn't think of it first (if you're wondering, though, I got the skirt and shirt both off of Ebay, AKA my mothership).
Disappointing.
But you tell yourself to ignore them and continue thinking that you're at least a whole level above the population style-wise. Like come on, these are professionals picking out their outfits--you just stumbled upon your look because you have excellent taste. I prefer to think of it as a validation that you did something right in your life, like, "Look! I'm fabulous! I'm a stylist! I think I wore it a little better but maybe that's just me..."
Want some examples? Of course you do.
The sweater I'm wearing in this picture
was seen on 90210 on the character Dixon Wilson:
Tah dah! Okay, yes it's a
men's sweater but honestly I have never seen a real life man in it with the
exception of a gay man I met at a party my freshmen year of college. It is
ridiculously comfortable, matches with everything, and fits nicely into my all
black, grey, and blue wardrobe. I got it years ago at Urban Outfitters, obvs in
the men's section. Dixon Wilson can flaunt that sweater with pride knowing that I am his style twin.
Next, this skirt seen on Tamara in
Awkward. (if you're not watching it you probably should be) is one currently in
my closet:
And here I am wearing it while
bopping around NYC:
Image
courtesy of Jameson
|
I bought it in cream, clearly. It's
a Kimchi Blue lace skirt that I bought at the Newbs Street Urbs. Holla.
Next, this gem of a shirt I'm wearing in front of the Mediterranean (no big deal):
Can also be seen on this week's episode of Awkward.
 |
| http://www.mtv.com/photos/awkward-season-3-ep-10-redefining-jenna/1708865/8186247/photo.jhtml#8186247 |
Now, I also work in retail at the infamous Lucky Brand Jeans and as soon as I saw these pants in the Spring collection I knew I was going to rock them to their full extent. Here's a fatefully unattractive picture of me in them at work next to this little girl that will someday be famous--she sang in the store for us and the customers, and I got her on video:
And here's what they look like on the Lucky site:
 |
| http://www.fljean.com/lucky-brand-womens-jeans-charlie-capri-geometric-print-low-rise-slim/ |
Then the most exciting thing happened when I was on Spring Break this year--I saw them in (I believe) the April issue of Cosmo, as a recommendation of how to wear patterned pants.
Needless to say I'm borderline a fashion icon.
Now, there are a few other items that I have acquired that blur the line a little bit as to who had it first. I recently purchased this Free Peeps slip:
 |
| http://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-Free-People-Sheer-Mesh-Trim-Poppyfield-Tunic-Top-Slip-Dress-Shirt-0-2-XS-/161026366541 |
I have yet to wear it because a) it's see through so I'm trying to figure out the proper under-dressings before I slut it up and b) I want to wear it with a long, oversize sweater which I am currently unable to do since it's a constant 82 degrees every day right now. Before I bought it, but while I was looking at it (I would definitely say we were in the heavy flirtation stage of our relationship) I realized that Alison Argent on Teen Wolf wore the same one a few weeks prior (BTDubs I got it on Ebay for a legitimate steal so you should probably hop on that):
 |
| http://teenwolfoutfits.tumblr.com/tagged/allison-argent |
On the other hand, I have done a bit of style stealing from this show. Like this outfit:
 |
| http://style.mtv.com/2013/06/24/teen-wolf-season-3-episode-4/ |
Did I completely hunt down this outfit then buy a burgundy leather skirt and blue button down so I could be as cool and stylish as Lydia?
Um, yeah I did.
Sad?
Yes.
Totally worth it?
Obviously, have you seen this girl? She is literally everything I want to be and if I can creepily model myself after her like a future mentally unbalanced stalker, I'm going to. No need to hate because you didn't think of it first (if you're wondering, though, I got the skirt and shirt both off of Ebay, AKA my mothership).
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Quote of the day
"Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us manage to
pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened." -Winston Churchill
Large and in charge
"What!?" you say? "But they are so great!"
Uhhm, NO.
"But guys love them!"
I don't give a what! They don't have to deal with them every day. Being especially gifted in the bra department (I'm talking high C and above) is a plague upon our houses, and here's why:
1. You want to wear this? Forget it.
 | |||
| http://wondersoftheinternet.tumblr.com/post/31394202307 |
 |
| http://www.stylehive.com/bookmark/sexy-dresses-backless-silver-dress-with-plunging-neckline-for-dancing-free-shipping-849661 |
2. Running? Nope. Not unless you want to feel like your carrying two gallon jugs of water on your chest. There isn't one sports bra that can hold all that in. But you try anyway, because who doesn't want to be in shape and scope out the selection at the gym? Then you forget all social standards and end up holding a boob in each hand while on the treadmill because that's the ONLY WAY they will stop.
And if you're small, finding your bra size anywhere for under $75 is a miracle in itself (I'd suggest online or a TJ Maxx). You're in the bra section next to all the twiglets looking for their 32 A's and B's and you're all like, "Where the mother effer are the 32 D's?" Yeah, you're swearing because you need a new nude bra for work and taking money out of your retirement plan for a specialized bra just isn't going to happen.
You end up settling for some "close" seconds. You convince yourself in the dressing room that the 34 C totally holds everything in even though you're like one yoga move away from busting a nipple out the top. You leave feeling accomplished that you've cheated the system and believing maybe you're not they're not as big as you think (you don't let the VS people measure you anymore out of fear of the answer). Then the second you get home and try it on again you're like, "Sweet Jesus I'm stupid."
And strapless bras? Yeah, no. Don't fool yourself, that thing is going to be a belt twenty minutes into your day.
3. Finding clothes that don't make you look like your in your third trimester or haven't hit the gym since 2008? Absolutely not. You want to be able to rock this look so hard, because it's in style and, HELLO, it's comfortable:
 |
| http://media-cache-ec2.pinimg.com/736x/10/57/af/1057af8f0fcea2f02df7444065592770.jpg |
But you can't. Instead you need something more like this:
 |
| http://www.90210-style.com/characters/adrianna/adrianna22.php |
You need that tight-fitting, suck-it-in stuff, and most likely you're going to have to belt it for added style and accessories. Breathing? Yeah, you're not gonna be doing that. The worst part? Having to face that you're an Adrianna, not a Silver or Annie. BUT JUST LOOK AT HOW COMFY THEY ARE:
 | ||||
| http://www.90210-style.com/characters/annie/annie106.php |
 |
| http://www.90210-style.com/characters/silver/silver94.php |
4. Trying to find a button down for work or play? Good luck. Unless you grab up a few sizes, this happens:
 |
| http://mbadventure.com/2012/03/24/big-news/ |
Or, you're trying to pull one of these off, until seven minutes into your day when you have the construction guys trying to look down your shirt (and easily doing so):
5. Any normal outfit looks overly sexual. This:
 |
| k3photography.tumblr.com/post/34634143614 |
Turns into this:
 |
| http://www.allfancydress.com/photo/34/Ximena.aspx |
Just give up trying to look stylish and attractive, because your boobs are making sure that never happens without making you look like a Playboy Bunny.
"Oh, look."
Nothing activates one's upchuck reflex like having to witness a bull trying to have sexytime with a cow net to your father, then having him state, "Oh, look, he's mounting her."
There are just some experiences that unfortunately stay with you forever.
There are also certain things your parents should never state or pretend to notice in your presence.
Like when I was 12 and he rambled off a list of mixed drinks, including a Sloe Comfortable Screw Against A Wall. Like why? WHY?
I mean don't get me wrong, I like that my dad and I can joke around and have a close relationship, but these are certain things that should never be discussed by a father-daughter pair at any age range.
Bad form, KennyP, bad form.
There are just some experiences that unfortunately stay with you forever.
There are also certain things your parents should never state or pretend to notice in your presence.
Like when I was 12 and he rambled off a list of mixed drinks, including a Sloe Comfortable Screw Against A Wall. Like why? WHY?
I mean don't get me wrong, I like that my dad and I can joke around and have a close relationship, but these are certain things that should never be discussed by a father-daughter pair at any age range.
Bad form, KennyP, bad form.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Quote of the day
"And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I won't forget to put roses on your grave"
-The Rolling Stones
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I won't forget to put roses on your grave"
-The Rolling Stones
Friday, July 5, 2013
Reasons we all wish we were Lydia Martin
It's time to get real and talk about a pretty pivotal topic: Teen Wolf.
Let's be honest with ourselves: Lydia Martin is the real reason you watch Teen Wolf, besides the testosterone jacked fights between sexy hairy shirtless hybrid men. Yum.
Oh, whoops. How did that slip in there?
Now that I've got you all hot and bothered, here's why:
Lydia is effing smart
She is a bitch without having to deal with the backlash of being a bitch, because everyone just understands that she's a bitch and moves on. Wouldn't that be nice?
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia%20martin
She dated this:
And got it on with this:
And is constanty stalked in the most adorable way by this:
She has the kind of pretty preppy style we wish we could all pull off without looking a like a fourth grader in our mommy's lipstick and heels
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia+martin
She can walk in seven inch pumps like it's nbd. In high school. Like totally cas.
She looks like this:
Her lips? Uhmmm hello? Has anyone ever seen them? And you KNOW those things are real.
She isn't a werewolf or a werewolf hunter or some ancient magical cult member and she is STILL mother effing terrifying
She's funny in her own way
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia+martin |
Let's be honest with ourselves: Lydia Martin is the real reason you watch Teen Wolf, besides the testosterone jacked fights between sexy hairy shirtless hybrid men. Yum.
 |
| http://c3e308.medialib.glogster.com/media/9b/9b93f33decaf280b3bea2aaac3991cc3028680e3c9d37ac4af54e44689465a9c/tgif-teen-wolf-shirtless-derek-hale-1-png.png |
Oh, whoops. How did that slip in there?
Now that I've got you all hot and bothered, here's why:
Lydia is effing smart
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/archaic%20latin |
She is a bitch without having to deal with the backlash of being a bitch, because everyone just understands that she's a bitch and moves on. Wouldn't that be nice?
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia%20martin
She dated this:
 |
| http://rebloggy.com/Teen+Wolf/search/bestmatch/page/1 |
And got it on with this:
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia+martin |
And is constanty stalked in the most adorable way by this:
 |
| http://teenwolf.wikia.com/wiki/File:Teen_Wolf_Season_3_Episode_1_Tattoo_Dylan_O%27Brien_Stiles.png |
She has the kind of pretty preppy style we wish we could all pull off without looking a like a fourth grader in our mommy's lipstick and heels
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia+martin
She can walk in seven inch pumps like it's nbd. In high school. Like totally cas.
 |
| http://style.mtv.com/2013/06/17/teen-wolf-season-3-episode-3/ |
She looks like this:
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia+martin |
Her lips? Uhmmm hello? Has anyone ever seen them? And you KNOW those things are real.
 |
| http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=477917 |
She isn't a werewolf or a werewolf hunter or some ancient magical cult member and she is STILL mother effing terrifying
 |
| http://www.screened.com/lydia-martin/15-18054/all-images/132-2529543/001/131-622169/ |
She's funny in her own way
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lydia+martin |
Not entirely sure
I was reading some article the other week from god knows
where about really overrated sexual maneuvers if you will that the author believed
were either obsolete or just stupid. So she’s going along talking about how 69ing is complete
crap (agreed) for obvious reasons that no one needs that much at one time at
that kind of angle. Dammit people just wait your turn. And for the life of me
while I’m continuing along this article I can’t decide whether it’s a chick or
a dude (as the 90’s and wannabe 90’s hipsters say). At first I think it’s a
woman because she’s talking about going down on a man etc. (sorry I assumed)
then she is making some comment about her penis and so I’m like oh bomb diggity
this changes everything. Because obviously I’m reading this article in my
default girl tone, considering the topic, to come to find out that my life has
been a complete lie and that this woman isn’t really a woman at all. I feel
betrayed.
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