"'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62.
And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64.
However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees
before top-dead-center."
-Miss Mona Lisa Vito
Monday, July 22, 2013
Saturday, July 20, 2013
My unfortunate financial status
At this point I'm so poor that I literally stole quarters off the floor of a party I was at last night. Then I spent $70 this morning on clothes, so I think we may have discovered the root of the problem. But a girl's got to shop and a girl's got to pay for parking. No shame.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Yeah, you like it
We should all just admit that we totally all got hot and bothered while watching the gay hookup on Teen Wolf last week.
Here's why:
They're guys.
They're hot.
One of them is a twin.
They're ripped.
They're hot.
They're on a bed, making out.
I'm not even into that guy on guy action, I just like to pretend I'm one of them, being loved on by the other one. It changes depending on what I'm feeling.
Here's why:
They're guys.
They're hot.
One of them is a twin.
They're ripped.
They're hot.
They're on a bed, making out.
I'm not even into that guy on guy action, I just like to pretend I'm one of them, being loved on by the other one. It changes depending on what I'm feeling.
Why aren't you watching this?
OKAY. Let's get right to the point: you aren't watching Naked and Afraid and you should be.
Maybe you haven't heard of it, maybe you've seen the commercials and don't think it's exciting. Well you're stupid and you're wrong. Why? BECAUSE IT"S THE BESTEST, WEIRDEST, FUNNIEST SHOW EVER. Even the name is enticing--it alludes to our favorite things: sex and danger (thankfully it's safely on a screen and you're nice and warm on your sofa).
To sum up this show: they drop a man and a woman off NAKED in a jungle/forest/desert somewhere and the two of them have to last 21 days (AKA three weeks for those of us mathematically challenged). They don't even get water (however they can both bring one item) and HELLO they don't even have undies. Not even a thong or something. And let me tell you, watching survivalists sliding down muddy jungle dunes and getting splinters with it all hanging out is good TV.
Now, on to something you probably are watching: Girl Code.
Yeah, we all know already that it is the best show on television because these totally bitchy, hilarious, fabulous girls make you feel so much better about yourself and the fact that you're sitting on your butt for seven hours because it's totally normal. Since I doubt I even need to continue explaining why it's so awesome, here's some mental snacks for you:
 |
| http://www.hitfix.com/starr-raving/discovery-reveals-even-more-with-bare-pairs-on-naked-afraid |
Maybe you haven't heard of it, maybe you've seen the commercials and don't think it's exciting. Well you're stupid and you're wrong. Why? BECAUSE IT"S THE BESTEST, WEIRDEST, FUNNIEST SHOW EVER. Even the name is enticing--it alludes to our favorite things: sex and danger (thankfully it's safely on a screen and you're nice and warm on your sofa).
To sum up this show: they drop a man and a woman off NAKED in a jungle/forest/desert somewhere and the two of them have to last 21 days (AKA three weeks for those of us mathematically challenged). They don't even get water (however they can both bring one item) and HELLO they don't even have undies. Not even a thong or something. And let me tell you, watching survivalists sliding down muddy jungle dunes and getting splinters with it all hanging out is good TV.
Now, on to something you probably are watching: Girl Code.
| http://www.bubblews.com/news/620707-girl-code-vs-guy-code |
Yeah, we all know already that it is the best show on television because these totally bitchy, hilarious, fabulous girls make you feel so much better about yourself and the fact that you're sitting on your butt for seven hours because it's totally normal. Since I doubt I even need to continue explaining why it's so awesome, here's some mental snacks for you:
 | |||||||||
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/carly%20aquilino |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/pissed |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/alice%20wetterlund |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/mtv%20girl%20code |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/girl%20code%20gif |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/girl%20code?language=fr_FR |
Realizations of a twenty-something
Alright, so you're in your twenties. This means: you're young, you're hot, you're broke, you're just entering the workforce, you're terrified and you're life is basically a crap shoot of trying to keep it together.
Here's some things you're beginning to realize:
You can totally hand wash your silk shirt in your Tupperware.
You hate everyone who has their shit together, especially if they're younger than you.
Every load of laundry, no matter how long it's been since your last wash, can fit into one load (when you visit home you're parents are like, "Steph, I know it says 'Large' on the settings but that was way more than large." And you're all like, whatevs you guys aren't used to having to fork over $5 every wash and dry).
Netflix is the best invention. Ever. You've also gotten really good at finding current shows online--in fact you've got the daily schedules down to a science.
Reading the magazine covers while in the line at Stop n' Shop is totally the same thing as buying them.
Coffee is the most critical resource in your arsenal.
You're college clothes are way too slutty for your new job/internship (a fantastic excuse to go shopping).
Makeup out of the 98 cent bin is just as good as the 23 dollar stuff from Sephora--like seriously have you seen the prices in there?
Your roommates don't care that you're home and can hear their sex noises through the 3 mm thick wall.
You only need $60 a week for groceries, but at least $75 a week for clothes and cafe bagels and your favorite iced vanilla latte.
Here's some things you're beginning to realize:
You can totally hand wash your silk shirt in your Tupperware.
You hate everyone who has their shit together, especially if they're younger than you.
Every load of laundry, no matter how long it's been since your last wash, can fit into one load (when you visit home you're parents are like, "Steph, I know it says 'Large' on the settings but that was way more than large." And you're all like, whatevs you guys aren't used to having to fork over $5 every wash and dry).
Netflix is the best invention. Ever. You've also gotten really good at finding current shows online--in fact you've got the daily schedules down to a science.
Reading the magazine covers while in the line at Stop n' Shop is totally the same thing as buying them.
Coffee is the most critical resource in your arsenal.
You're college clothes are way too slutty for your new job/internship (a fantastic excuse to go shopping).
Makeup out of the 98 cent bin is just as good as the 23 dollar stuff from Sephora--like seriously have you seen the prices in there?
Your roommates don't care that you're home and can hear their sex noises through the 3 mm thick wall.
You only need $60 a week for groceries, but at least $75 a week for clothes and cafe bagels and your favorite iced vanilla latte.
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