In case you were looking for one.
http://www.imdb.com/list/3osASwU0vGA/
Monday, July 15, 2013
Why aren't you watching this?
OKAY. Let's get right to the point: you aren't watching Naked and Afraid and you should be.
Maybe you haven't heard of it, maybe you've seen the commercials and don't think it's exciting. Well you're stupid and you're wrong. Why? BECAUSE IT"S THE BESTEST, WEIRDEST, FUNNIEST SHOW EVER. Even the name is enticing--it alludes to our favorite things: sex and danger (thankfully it's safely on a screen and you're nice and warm on your sofa).
To sum up this show: they drop a man and a woman off NAKED in a jungle/forest/desert somewhere and the two of them have to last 21 days (AKA three weeks for those of us mathematically challenged). They don't even get water (however they can both bring one item) and HELLO they don't even have undies. Not even a thong or something. And let me tell you, watching survivalists sliding down muddy jungle dunes and getting splinters with it all hanging out is good TV.
Now, on to something you probably are watching: Girl Code.
Yeah, we all know already that it is the best show on television because these totally bitchy, hilarious, fabulous girls make you feel so much better about yourself and the fact that you're sitting on your butt for seven hours because it's totally normal. Since I doubt I even need to continue explaining why it's so awesome, here's some mental snacks for you:
 |
| http://www.hitfix.com/starr-raving/discovery-reveals-even-more-with-bare-pairs-on-naked-afraid |
Maybe you haven't heard of it, maybe you've seen the commercials and don't think it's exciting. Well you're stupid and you're wrong. Why? BECAUSE IT"S THE BESTEST, WEIRDEST, FUNNIEST SHOW EVER. Even the name is enticing--it alludes to our favorite things: sex and danger (thankfully it's safely on a screen and you're nice and warm on your sofa).
To sum up this show: they drop a man and a woman off NAKED in a jungle/forest/desert somewhere and the two of them have to last 21 days (AKA three weeks for those of us mathematically challenged). They don't even get water (however they can both bring one item) and HELLO they don't even have undies. Not even a thong or something. And let me tell you, watching survivalists sliding down muddy jungle dunes and getting splinters with it all hanging out is good TV.
Now, on to something you probably are watching: Girl Code.
| http://www.bubblews.com/news/620707-girl-code-vs-guy-code |
Yeah, we all know already that it is the best show on television because these totally bitchy, hilarious, fabulous girls make you feel so much better about yourself and the fact that you're sitting on your butt for seven hours because it's totally normal. Since I doubt I even need to continue explaining why it's so awesome, here's some mental snacks for you:
 | |||||||||
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/carly%20aquilino |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/pissed |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/alice%20wetterlund |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/mtv%20girl%20code |
 |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/girl%20code%20gif |
| http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/girl%20code?language=fr_FR |
Realizations of a twenty-something
Alright, so you're in your twenties. This means: you're young, you're hot, you're broke, you're just entering the workforce, you're terrified and you're life is basically a crap shoot of trying to keep it together.
Here's some things you're beginning to realize:
You can totally hand wash your silk shirt in your Tupperware.
You hate everyone who has their shit together, especially if they're younger than you.
Every load of laundry, no matter how long it's been since your last wash, can fit into one load (when you visit home you're parents are like, "Steph, I know it says 'Large' on the settings but that was way more than large." And you're all like, whatevs you guys aren't used to having to fork over $5 every wash and dry).
Netflix is the best invention. Ever. You've also gotten really good at finding current shows online--in fact you've got the daily schedules down to a science.
Reading the magazine covers while in the line at Stop n' Shop is totally the same thing as buying them.
Coffee is the most critical resource in your arsenal.
You're college clothes are way too slutty for your new job/internship (a fantastic excuse to go shopping).
Makeup out of the 98 cent bin is just as good as the 23 dollar stuff from Sephora--like seriously have you seen the prices in there?
Your roommates don't care that you're home and can hear their sex noises through the 3 mm thick wall.
You only need $60 a week for groceries, but at least $75 a week for clothes and cafe bagels and your favorite iced vanilla latte.
Here's some things you're beginning to realize:
You can totally hand wash your silk shirt in your Tupperware.
You hate everyone who has their shit together, especially if they're younger than you.
Every load of laundry, no matter how long it's been since your last wash, can fit into one load (when you visit home you're parents are like, "Steph, I know it says 'Large' on the settings but that was way more than large." And you're all like, whatevs you guys aren't used to having to fork over $5 every wash and dry).
Netflix is the best invention. Ever. You've also gotten really good at finding current shows online--in fact you've got the daily schedules down to a science.
Reading the magazine covers while in the line at Stop n' Shop is totally the same thing as buying them.
Coffee is the most critical resource in your arsenal.
You're college clothes are way too slutty for your new job/internship (a fantastic excuse to go shopping).
Makeup out of the 98 cent bin is just as good as the 23 dollar stuff from Sephora--like seriously have you seen the prices in there?
Your roommates don't care that you're home and can hear their sex noises through the 3 mm thick wall.
You only need $60 a week for groceries, but at least $75 a week for clothes and cafe bagels and your favorite iced vanilla latte.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Shit my dad says
Though my father is quite fabulously comedic, he does also have his moments. He's also been recycling the same jokes over the past 30 years along with his shirts.
Here's just a glimpse into my daily dealings:
Christina: "Dad I got money!"
Dad: "How?"
Me: "She was working the corner all night."
Dad: "I don't care, as long as she's making money!"
When my sister or I left the house in high school (actually he still says it to both of us): "Have fun, be safe."(true life, that one's important and one of the reasons he's the bestest padre in ze world)
Me: "Sorry dad but women can't be in the kitchen AND in the laundry room at the same time."
Dad: "Steph, there's plenty to do between loads."
In Spain when trying to ask for the check: "La questa por favor." (KennyP thought Catalan meant he could just try to speak french to them and get by)
Upon cruising through the Scottish countryside via train: "Scotland, where the men are men and the women are sheep."
Upon leaving anywhere: "And we're off like a bride's nighty!"
Me about something frustrating/stupid/ridiculous: "Jesus Christ."
Dad: "Ken is fine."
Here's just a glimpse into my daily dealings:
Christina: "Dad I got money!"
Dad: "How?"
Me: "She was working the corner all night."
Dad: "I don't care, as long as she's making money!"
When my sister or I left the house in high school (actually he still says it to both of us): "Have fun, be safe."(true life, that one's important and one of the reasons he's the bestest padre in ze world)
Me: "Sorry dad but women can't be in the kitchen AND in the laundry room at the same time."
Dad: "Steph, there's plenty to do between loads."
In Spain when trying to ask for the check: "La questa por favor." (KennyP thought Catalan meant he could just try to speak french to them and get by)
Upon cruising through the Scottish countryside via train: "Scotland, where the men are men and the women are sheep."
Upon leaving anywhere: "And we're off like a bride's nighty!"
Me about something frustrating/stupid/ridiculous: "Jesus Christ."
Dad: "Ken is fine."
Quote of the day
Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem
Lying to herself cause her liquor's top shelf.
-Lana Del Rey
-Lana Del Rey
Thursday, July 11, 2013
BuzzFeed posts all 20-somethings should read
So not only is BuzzFeed the only form of news that I pay attention to, it also happens to be one of my few connections to the outside world.
Currently I am sitting in the BWorks bagel cafe with it up in 4 tabs on my browser, so that should tell you something.
So to save you the hassle of scouring through the 46 thousand posts, here are three that are relevant and comedic to all us twenty-somethings who have nothing better to do with out time because we are at dead end jobs and our lives are going nowhere:
18 Things That Millennials Are Made Fun Of That Were Like Totally True For Generation X
Stuff You Hoped You'd Have In Your Twenties vs. What You Actually Have
21 Classic Quotes Reimagined for the Millennial Generation
10 People Who Aren't Afraid To Be Who They Are
10 Lessons From The Premier Of "Girls"
18 Things We Learned From Season 2 Of "Girls"
The last two are on there because as twenty-something girls we know that this show portrays our lives down to the most miniscule detail--except that Hannah still has more sex than us and their apartments are still way nicer than ours. Lucky bitches.
Currently I am sitting in the BWorks bagel cafe with it up in 4 tabs on my browser, so that should tell you something.
So to save you the hassle of scouring through the 46 thousand posts, here are three that are relevant and comedic to all us twenty-somethings who have nothing better to do with out time because we are at dead end jobs and our lives are going nowhere:
18 Things That Millennials Are Made Fun Of That Were Like Totally True For Generation X
Stuff You Hoped You'd Have In Your Twenties vs. What You Actually Have
21 Classic Quotes Reimagined for the Millennial Generation
10 People Who Aren't Afraid To Be Who They Are
10 Lessons From The Premier Of "Girls"
18 Things We Learned From Season 2 Of "Girls"
The last two are on there because as twenty-something girls we know that this show portrays our lives down to the most miniscule detail--except that Hannah still has more sex than us and their apartments are still way nicer than ours. Lucky bitches.
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